Love and Marriage
No one said marriage would be easy, but when you add in serious insomnia, anxiety, depression, a child who needs extra help, and living with your parents it can get overwhelming.
Depression is real, and it will eat you alive. Somedays, actually most days I wake up and take our son to school and come home and go to sleep again. I guess it’s my way of “escaping”. It’s not because I’m not happy with my life, I couldn’t ask for more when it comes to that. I’m just not happy with myself anymore, and I’m not looking for a pity party or attention. I know I will overcome this. I’ve really been trying, my parents have been helping me too by getting me out of the house during the day. But it’s been hard and this isn’t really something I’ve shared before but hopefully, it will help to bring me out of the dark.
It’s always been hard for me to work a “real” full-time job. Ever since our son was very young we’ve had speech therapy appointments, IEP meetings, and tutoring after school. He is and always will be my priority. Working at home for me has been a complete blessing. (More on that another time)
My husband has been with his company for over 15 years now, so he gives us stability. I have no idea how he wakes up every day at 5:00 am to drive over an hour to work. I can tell it’s taking a toll on him lately and I wish there was something I could do. He is an amazing provider, a great father, and he’s an okay husband. Haha, I’m just kidding, I don’t know what I’d do without him.
Not a lot of people know that just a few years ago we had a few bumps, actually more like major crashes in our marriage. It was rough. It was a time I never ever want to re-live and I hope we will never have to. If one day we can help others overcome what we did, then maybe everything does happen for a reason.
Of the many things I’ve learned along the way…the most important is to NEVER and I really do mean NEVER go to bed angry at each other. It’s advice that was passed down for many generations now, but it is golden. I can still remember my nana giving me the same advice and I can still remember my grandfather never leaving the house without telling her he loved her and giving her a sweet little kiss on her forehead.
On that terrible day when I thought my world was falling apart, that same night my husband and I kissed each other goodnight as we had done all of these years. Don’t get me wrong, we were emotionally damaged, we were both hurting, but we chose not to run and not be angry at each other anymore. Each day after that to this day we continue to heal.
While we decided to work out our issues, that doesn’t mean everyone should. There are certainly circumstances in which separation or divorce is unavoidable.
I can say with 100% certainty, that every day I fall in love with my husband more.
So, I gave you a little advice…something that has helped us for the past 17 years of our marriage. What advice can you give? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!